Highchair Refusal

Highchair refusal occurs when babies or toddlers resist sitting in their highchair, often showing their discomfort through crying, fussing, or attempting to escape. This behaviour can begin as early as six months when babies start eating solids and may continue into the toddler years. Before we explore strategies for managing highchair refusal, let’s examine the underlying reasons for this behaviour. Understanding the “why” can provide valuable insights into how to respond effectively.

Why Do Babies and Toddlers Refuse the Highchair?

• Desire for Independence: As children grow, they develop a sense of autonomy and may want to explore their environment, move around freely, and assert their independence, making them less inclined to be confined to a highchair.
• Comfort and Fit: Sometimes, a highchair may not be comfortable for your child. They might feel restricted if the straps are too tight, the seat lacks adequate support, or they can’t reach the footrest. Ensuring the highchair is appropriately adjusted can make a difference.
• Overwhelm: Mealtimes can be overwhelming with new foods, textures, and smells. If a child feels overstimulated or anxious, or if they feel pressured to eat, they may resist sitting in the highchair.
• Boredom: Toddlers are naturally curious and often want to engage with their surroundings. If they find mealtimes boring, they may refuse to sit still in their highchair.
• Appetite: If your child is not hungry or has snacked too close to mealtime, they may lack the motivation to stay in the highchair. Hunger plays a significant role in their willingness to eat.
• Sensory Needs: Every child has unique sensory processing needs, and some may require more opportunities to move their bodies.

How long SHOULD they sit in a highchair for?

High chair refusal can be so frustrating, but it can be helpful to know what realistic expectations are.

Most experts agree it is appropriate to expect about 2-3 minutes of attention for every year of life. While some babies and toddlers will sit for a lot longer, for many kiddies, this is all they can handle!

Let’s break it down.

⚪️For 6-12 month old babies, expect 1-2 minutes of happy highchair time
⚪️ For one year olds expect 2-3 minutes of happy highchair time
⚪️ For two year olds expect 4-6 minutes of happy highchair time
⚪️ For three year olds expect 6-9 minutes of happy highchair time
⚪️ For four year olds expect 8-12 minutes of happy highchair time.

Is it the highchair?

Ensure the highchair is supportive and has a secure footrest. Your child’s ankles, knees, and hips should ideally be at a 90/90/90 angle. If your child is approaching two years old, consider transitioning to an adjustable toddler chair or a booster seat with a footrest.
Read more about highchairs here and what to look for when purchasing.

Strategies to Encourage Highchair Use

• Make Mealtimes Fun: Use engaging plates, utensils, and creative food presentations. Let your child help choose meals to foster a sense of involvement.
• Eliminate Pressure to Eat: If your child feels pressured to eat certain foods, it can contribute to highchair refusal. Follow the division of responsibility: you decide when and where mealtimes happen and what is on the plate, while your child decides if and how much they eat.
• Limit Distractions: Reduce noise and distractions during meals. Turn off screens and create a calm environment to help your child focus on eating.
• Create Positive Associations: Allow your child to play or explore the highchair outside of mealtimes. Activities like drawing or reading in the highchair can help them associate it with positive experiences.
• Meet Movement Needs: Address sensory needs by allowing movement before mealtimes. You could hop to the table, have a dance party in the kitchen, or ensure your child has had ample floor time or running around before meals. It’s also fine for your toddler to take breaks during mealtimes; while food stays at the table, their body doesn’t have to.
• Offer Choices: Toddlers crave autonomy. Let them choose where their highchair goes at the table, the colour of their plate, or whether they want the highchair tray on or off for the meal.

If highchair refusal becomes extreme or leads to significant mealtime struggles, consider discussing this with your GP, a psychologist, or an occupational therapist. Understanding your child’s needs and adjusting your approach can make mealtimes more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Need more help?

Listen to our podcast about highchair refusal with our paediatric occupational therapist Rach or check out our book Toddler to Table for more mealtime strategies (and yummy recipes too).

You can also listen to our podcast on choosing a highchair here: